I have never been normal
Or how about the new shade I've been rocking this year? In the social circles I grew up in, I'd stick out like a sore thumb. Maybe I am normal in the secular part of the world, but in the circles of all my childhood friends and family, as an adult, I am that person they are warned about.
I wasn't always like this, I learned quickly the easiest thing to do was to nod, agree, and bide my time, writing my actual feelings in my journals while waiting to be free. I never realized how good I was at faking it, until I was free to express. So it came as a surprise when people were shocked at my life choices and questioned me about them. In my mind everyone should have known this was who I really was, especially my childhood best friend. But that's not how it worked and so I've lost friends and family because they couldn't handle who I really was.
Why does it matter that I had purple hair or have shaved the back and gone blue or that I make funny faces at the camera or that I don't believe in god? They are my choices and make me who I am; an individual person with rights, feelings, and passions. Just like they are individual people with rights, feelings, and passions.
Sometimes we make choices, because it's the right choice for us.
My choice probably isn't the choice for you and that's okay. We are allowed to be different and when we make those choices there isn't always a story behind it. My hair is funky because I enjoy it, nothing more. I take self portraits because it helps me love myself. One has a story and the other doesn't. Being asked about the story behind my hair frustrates me, because
- There is no story, it's just hair.
- I would rather be asked for the story behind my portraits.
So I decided to write that story. I've never gone through all my portraits and seen the progress I've made in the years since I started. Starting next week, you'll get to see from 2010 and upwards to today. Each year a post, dedicated to talking about my growth as a human being in pictures.
I am happy to not be "normal" and while sometimes it sucks standing out, I'd have it no other way. Being myself is awesome.
Where do you fit? Or not fit, because that's a heck of a lot more fun.
I also hope you'll join me next month for my Looking Back series.
I'm a lifestyle blogger, covering deep subjects including body images, battles with food, and overcoming how I was raised. I try to be as authentic as possible and I don’t sugar coat how I see things.