Think, Feel, and Learned

Think, Feel, and Learned

I have been unemployed for three years this month. That's a weird feeling and it's even weirder to think of myself in the role of a housewife. Here's some things I think, feel, and learned these past few years;

  • I am so freaking judgmental. 
  • I have a lot of guilt surrounding my privilege of being unemployed. 
  • I am so freaking glad that I don't want children and that I have stated that for years, or being a stay-at-home wife would suck more than it already does. 
  • Yup, judgmental of housewives. When I get my nails done I look around me and think "omg, all these pampered silly women" and then I realize I am one of them. Sure I'm the eccentric one of with purple hair, no jewelry, and emo clothes. But I'm a housewife! I need to judge less and realize that my quick glance isn't the whole story and could be totally wrong. 
  • I have no need for any other clothes except yoga pants and tank tops, because my entire life is yoga and pedicures. Heck, I don't even have to make dinner if I don't want to, there's all these easy meals you can pick up and toss in the oven for cheaper than what you could make it for.
  • Buy flowers. Doesn't matter if they are four times the price you are use to, they are important and make you happy. Yes, having something alive and bright that will last anything from two days to a week is worth the fifteen bucks.

  • I hate cleaning. It's hard folks, especially when you're home all the bloody time. Who the hell wants to clean when there's YouTube. 
  • I no longer have the patience to deal with bullshit. We had friends here in Madison and then I ended it because I'd rather no friends then be treated like a dog. I don't have time for it and I deserve better and so does my husband. And I'm okay with this. 
  • After years of not understanding my body, I'm learning. People, sex education is important. Why is this not mandatory? Ohhh right, white men in government.
  • On this note, GO AND VOTE. Don't underestimate how important this is. Cause one day you might end up like me, unable to vote and wishing you could.
  • I love the freedom of not working. But I miss the community and sense of belonging working brings. If you are in the Madison, Wisconsin area and would like to work together, let me know. I could use a in person friend who wants to take pictures or explore or have tea. Skype is great but doesn't give hugs. 
  • Would I go back to work if I could? Probably not... At least not the work I use to do and I don't know what I want to do. 
  • Long distance friendships are possible, even with those who have kids. But 90% of them won't put in the effort and it will hurt. It will hurt deeply. But those who do respond back and stay in touch are all the more important and they are the true ones. It might surprise you to see who those people are. 
  • Speaking of friendship, let them go. It's okay, maybe they'll come back, maybe they won't. But they were there when you needed it and now you need to let it go. 
  • Buying a car can be a fun experience, get all your facts and enjoy it. Don't give the dealership your money forever, though acknowledging that a car is a money sucking purchasing and budgeting for it is definitely a good idea. Also why do people think leases are evil, it makes a heck of a lot of sense sometimes. 
  • Contacts you don't have to take out nightly are amazing, glasses suck. Being able to see at night is a freaking miracle. 
  • Vodka was great when you were 19 not so much at 30. Gin is where it's at. Or whiskey. Or wine basically anything that's not cheap vodka. Brandy and apple cider so yummy. 
  • Find a therapist, whether you think you need it or not. If the first one becomes someone you won't tell you deepest secret too, find another one. Not that I've learned this... yet.
  • It's weird to write about your happiness, success, and joy when 90% of the people you know are being knocked down. Be proud of yourself but don't be a dick. Maybe start to work on writing about your happiness in not depressing ways. 
  • Being kind is important but being real is honest.

  • Lastly learning to love myself has been the hardest and best journey.
Think, Feel, and Learned