What happens when you feel betrayed so often, that you no longer trust anyone? My focus on betrayal kept bringing me back to my lack of trust.
Who do I trust? And what do I do about those I do not?
It's a sad fact that I don't trust many people. I can list the people I have a fair amount of belief in, on two fingers. I trust them both, in different ways and I still expect it not to last. Something will happen and I want to be able to handle it without destroying the relationships. I want lasting relationships with both of them and with others but to do that, I need to learn how to trust better.
With the realization of how little I trust, I took another look at my therapy process. I've been going for about 4 months now. The therapist and I have moved on from learning my story to deeper emotions and meaning. I know therapy isn't an instant heal, but now I have a decision to make. There are things I have been wanting to talk about to someone, things I've never told a soul. The person who could help me with those things the most is my therapist. Yet as I stare at her during my last session, I've realized that I will never utter those words to her. The whole purpose of attending therapy was so I could get to those things. Not trusting my therapist kinda puts the whole process on hold.
So what should I do?
Find another therapist, and hope that the new relationship will be someone I can trust.
Or continue working with my current therapist and hope that I grow to trust her.
I want to trust. I want to have faith in other people and their promises to me. But I have so much fear holding me back from placing my faith in them. Working through that fear is not easy and I feel as if I am standing at the crossroads needing to make a decision but not wanting to get hurt.
Are you a trusting person?
I'm a lifestyle blogger, covering deep subjects including body images, battles with food, and overcoming how I was raised. I try to be as authentic as possible and I don’t sugar coat how I see things.