Looking Back - 2011 A Year of Self Portraits

Self Portraiture has been a huge part of my life. Through imagery I found myself. I love looking back at those images and seeing how far I have come - in confidence, body image, and skill. 


2011 was the year of change for me. Earlier this week I shared from 2010 and in that post I wrote a line that said "I really came to love everything about this life." Because that year I didn't realize that the life I was loving was about to change and in my mind, at first anyways, it didn't change for the better. 

Before the change happened, I created my dressing room. Turning the second bedroom of our apartment into my closet. Shooting almost all my pictures there. I would love to have a dressing room again #onedaygoals. 

I had my wall of outfit inspiration, which was my idea of pinterest at the time. I had gotten a new position at work which was my dream (at the time). Things were great. Then my favorite person in the world threw the unexpected at me.

He was miserable. He hated his job, was tired of the day to day, and life overall sucked. So he had looked into going back to school. He'd applied (something we had talk about in the fall but I hadn't taken seriously) and had been accepted. 

With all the drama I could manage, he talked me into supporting him in this next chapter. How could I not? I didn't want a relationship where one is happy and the other is miserable. 

So we began planning and working out details. We made some big decisions

  • We decided to downsize from our two bedroom apartment to something we could afford on my paycheque alone.
  • We decided that he would still work part time.
  • We decided that I would attempt at picking up a second job. That way we could still continue living the way we were, just with him in school. As well as to stay out of debt as much as possible.
  • We decided to semi park the car and depend on transit. 

With those decisions made, we began taking steps toward making it all work. The one thing that we did not talk about was my spending. I continued capturing my outfits and buying clothes. That shelving unit behind me is full, stuffed, with clothes. This was the year that I started doing 30 day challenges - wear a different item of clothing everyday for 30 days. Not only could I manage doing that, but I was close to hitting 60 days without repeating a thing. It was no effort to even do this. I also had a daily Starbucks habit and I do not drink coffee. I am horrified now by how much money I blew on useless spending!

We moved, Kevin started school, I joined the running room. Reality didn't set at first, we just continued as we were. I adjusted to my lack of dressing room with time and my photo taking stayed the same. 

That year had so many big changes and I wish we had been far more financially aware at the time. It was really hard for me to adjust and it took a while for the financial side of things to rear it's head. Looking back my issues with Kevin going to school, were extremely petty. They came from a place of fear. I had learned to fear change from others because it usually came with horrible results. The confident girl I had become in the previous year was being challenged and I needed to learn how to trust, accept change, and learn to be confident through all aspects of life. 

My theory on life is that life is beautiful. Life doesn’t change. You have a day, and a night, and a month, and a year. We people change - we can be miserable or we can be happy. It’s what you make of your life.
— Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum

I'm a lifestyle blogger, covering deep subjects including body images, battles with food, and overcoming how I was raised. I try to be as authentic as possible and I don’t sugar coat how I see things.