Looking Back - 2010 A Year of Self Portraits

Self Portraiture has been a huge part of my life. Through imagery I found myself. I love looking back at those images and seeing how far I have come - in confidence, body image, and skill. 

Welcome to 2010 Angela

2010 is the first year I have on file of my adventures to self capture. The photos from then are awkwardly cropped and give you a vague view of how uncomfortable I was. Also how much color I wore! My style has really evolved over the years. A lot of what I am wearing is because of social pressures - what I thought people wanted me to wear/look like. I bought clothes for others and not for myself. Looking at these photos you see the awkwardness and not the social pressures I was feeling.   

On date nights, I would drag Kevin into the shots with me. I love these photos of us. If I hadn't recorded it there would be no memories of the dates we took or of our first Calgary home. Most were taken just before going on some kind of adventure, usually the orchestra. We loved to dress up for Orchestra events though we had our casual moments too.

As the year 2010 progressed you see a confident girl starting to come to life. You also see the style changing a little. I love wearing high waisted skirts and tunics with leggings, both something I enjoy now. 

A lot of the confidence started to come from getting a gym membership and hiring a personal trainer. That trainer was just the right type of person for me at the time. I also had the perfect workout schedule. I would drop Kevin off at work for 6am, hit the gym. Then he would walk to the gym, workout, and hit up Starbucks till I was off. The gym and both our jobs were all in a 1 miles radius of each other and it was a great system. The gym is definitely not a great place for everyone, but it taught me a lot about myself - endurance mostly. 

I really came to love everything about my life this year. I started to see that I was worthy and that there was more out there than I had thought. My fun side started to come out and my poses began taking a different form. It wasn't my go to way of taking pictures but I was starting to believe in myself. In all the pictures I took that year, these 4 are the only ones that stood out to me. The shots themselves are silly composites with terrible lighting and terrible apartment backgrounds. But I was a work in progress. 

I wish I still had my blog posts from that time. I would love to have seen what I had written along side these pictures. Alas all I am left with, is the awkward beginning photos and the slow blooming of my confidence. 

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’
— Eleanor Roosevelt