Supporting in Grief
It's two am and I am thinking. I'm thinking on grief, distance, mortality, and how I don't know how to deal with any of it. I'm thinking on a woman who wasn't a part of my life, but she was the world to two very important people to me. I'm three thousand miles away and I have nothing to offer. In the years we've been here, not once have I thought about flying back, until now. But I would be just as useless in person as I am over the phone. I have never lost someone; I can't imagine the pain. I can't imagine never seeing someone I love ever again.
I want to be useful. I want to know the right words to say and how to make it a little easier. The definition of grief is
deep sorrow, especially that caused by someone's death.
Immediately when searching this topic I found two articles that contradicted each other. One said to say and do this and the other said not to do those things. And that's the issue with grief, isn't it? There is no right or wrong thing to say or do. It's dependent on the person, the relationship, and so many other factors that you can't just read a couple articles and think you have the perfect solution to handling a friend's grief. The best thing I found was the statement that "Grief belongs to the griever" and went on to say;
Allowing your friend their grief is one of the best pieces of advice I've seen. I'm sure over the rest of my life I will come to experience more death and I hope that I can be kind and supportive friend. For today though, just know that I am still learning and will do anything I can to be there.
star photos taken by Kevin