I bought a hoodie today and it made me think of you. It's weird because it's been ages since I've reflected on past friendships. I'm not sure if I miss it or would ever want a friendship like that again. But you were a huge part of my life. As I've spent the past few months coming up with content for my February Relationship month. I've thought on all kinds of relationships I've had, sisters, siblings, being a parent to others kids, non-existent parents. But my thoughts on this particular friendship stopped me in my tracks.
My relationship with you saved me. Maybe that's putting too much on the friendship and maybe I was the same for you. I came and stayed with your family almost every weekend of grade 10 and 11. If it wasn't for those weekends I think I would have gone insane. I'd come bringing the bare minimum of clothing and we'd sit for hours in front of your wardrobe planning out each piece you would wear and the cast offs I would piece together for myself. Neither of us had much but it felt like you had the whole world.
We'd talk about that one boy and dwell on that thing he said for hours and all I could think was if I had been there it would have been so much easier to interpret. We'd layer on eyeliner and mascara and listen to music at full volume. All the things I couldn't do at home. You were my escape from reality. And I am so thankful to you and your family for allowing me that.
I don't actually remember what caused our relationship to crack. If it started with one bad bleach job or the fact that I was taking steps to not have anything to do with religion. But our friendship came to an end. I know we've tried to revitalize it throughout the years. But we're too different now and going out separate ways is probably for the best.
When I bought this hoodie, I knew I would love it. When I walked by myself in the mirror it made me stop. It really does remind me of you. It totally would have been something you would have "stolen" to wear somewhere and I totally would have found something to steal from you. We would have left the house thinking we were the hottest girls on earth.
My relationship with you was critical for me at that time in my life. I needed you and you carried me. I hope I was something for you too and I hope that where ever you are, you are happy and doing well. Because I am and I probably won't be as well off if it wasn't for you being a part of my life then.
Thank you for your years of friendship.