The Flawed Idea of Being Sexy

I am happy and so thankful for the social media circles I run in. It's full of beautiful people who constantly tell me that I am beautiful for who I am and how I look with or without makeup, clothes, etc. They have elevated me to have a belief in myself that allows me to be comfortable with every aspect of my being. Don't get me wrong, there are days when I don't, but as I pour more love into my being, those moments are less and less. At a book signing for Sonya Renee Taylor book, she said this

Your assignment is to love you, [your name], who hates everything about yourself until you love yourself again
— Sonya Renee Taylor, book signing March 2018

On bad days I accept myself and fill myself with love until I've found my way out of the darkness. I fill myself with forgiveness and allow the emotions to be felt, and slowly my mind begins to see things differently. Everyone needs more love and being at peace with oneself is a beautiful thing. 

So when I have conversations with the humans in my circles and 90% of the conversation is them self-deprecating, my heart breaks. Friends who have this idea that they must be this version of sexy or must lose that last five pounds. And I, still in the infancy stages of my own self-love journey, say nothing. I don't know what to say. I don't know how to interrupt the body shame. One day I will figure it out, it might be clumsy at first. But, my friend, you are an amazing human and you deserve to hear better things about yourself. 

Sexy is flawed. Sexy is not a single ideal. Sexy can be whatever you want it. Be that grungy sweats, three day unwashed hair, and coffee stained t-shirt or the silkiest pajamas ever. Five pounds lighter or ten pounds heavier. You are an amazing human, deserving of love. 

Take that quote put your name there. Toss it on a sticky note and put it on your mirror. Or use whatever quote that inspires you to embrace who you are now. Just know that we can change the conversation and we don't have to self-deprecate. Instead we can love. 

I took this picture a few months ago when I first got this tattoo (which I got December 2017). It's my second tattoo and I choose strength for many reasons, mainly because I have found that I have a lot more strength than I once thought.