Walking Down the Aisle
A few weeks ago I wrote a post called
. This post was a direct result of a conversation with someone special and this in particular struck a cord.
For our wedding I chose to walk down the aisle by myself. That's not what actually ended up happening (Kevin and I walked together). But the choice was very loudly spoken in the year we had been engaged.
I wanted to walk down the aisle by myself because that is how our relationship started. I was surrounded by friends and friends alone. I did not go into our relationship thinking long term, it just happened to blossom into that. Kevin and I grew together, we started off as individual people and have grown into stronger individuals with amazing support in a loving relationship. Walking down the aisle with someone represented to me something that I was not, which was being someone else’s to give away. I am not property.
At the last minute we chose to walk down together. The move felt right and I am super happy with the decision. Getting married was a decision we made together and while our relationship is not restarting with the signing of an expensive piece of paper, it made sense to us to do this move one hundred percent together.
However the days before the wedding I felt this pressure. It is hard to explain where this pressure came from, I think I allowed fear to take over after a few conversations. Some people were shocked and surprised by my decision which was something I wasn't expecting. I began expecting a fight to happen either the night before or the day of. This thankfully did not come true and the day went off amazingly.
It is not easy to make a choice the majority won't approve of. It is not easy to stand up for yourself. Even the one person who openly questioned me would have stood beside me if a fight had ensued. But standing up for something that felt right for me meant that night after the wedding I slept good.
I have also realized that I have grown a lot. I will not be run by the emotions of others.