Self-Portrait Saturday - Being Skinny

Self-Portrait Saturday - Being Skinny

I had a conversation the other day that lead to two questions.

Are you the skinniest person in your group of friends? If so, do you think this happened on purpose or do you seek out friendships from people bigger than you?

These questions really bothered me and I had to take some time to search how I felt. In general, if I am at my prime working out stages, (which I haven't been since 2013...) I think I am smaller than most of my friends. But size isn't what matters, it's how each individual views themselves. If they feel big they are going to seem big in life. If they feel beautiful and love the way they look, their entire countenance changes and sizes stops being an issue and all you see is their happiness. I have many amazing friends, but I don't have them because I "might" look smaller standing next to them. I have them because they are smart, funny, can carry a good conversation and they make me think, question myself and help me grow to be a better person. That's what friends should be!

I don't want my friends to judge me based on my size, so I won't do it to them! I DO however hold them and myself to the standard of being happy. If you aren't happy, change it, if something is making you miserable remove it. I try very hard to live my life by this standard. It doesn't always work, I was in a job that I hated for two years and it did make me a miserable person to be around and I am so thankful for all my friends sticking with me.

Tweet: I don't want to be judged by my size or looks and I will not do it to anyone else #clutterboxblog #judge #beauty #friends

Left is my in my running prime September 2012. I ran 5km three to four days a week and did yoga four to five times a week. I felt amazing and looked amazing. On the right is exactly one year later (September 2013), I had just started a new job and had stopped going to the gym because of the demands on the job. You can't tell here because my body was still in great shape from the previous years work outs.

2012 Left 2013 Right

This is photo is from September 2014. Want to know the biggest difference between this photo and the two above??

September 2014

40 pounds! One year in that new job position I stopped working out consistently and ate crap. It took a huge toll on my mental and physical state. The biggest thing is 40 pounds. But far as I can see you can't tell the different in the photos. Sure my legs look a little fatter, but that's mostly due to the angles and that you can't see my full leg in the first two photos.

But what you see if a confident girl in her body. That girl doesn't care about the size of her friends, she cares about their healthy - mental and physical. And she wishes them the best.

The feature picture is me today. Happy, healthy, jobless, blogging, surrounded by people I love and most importantly confident in who I am!

I'm a lifestyle blogger, covering deep subjects including body images, battles with food, and overcoming how I was raised. I try to be as authentic as possible and I don’t sugar coat how I see things.