My First Day Out By Myself

My First Day Out By Myself

Twenty minutes to the time my phone tells me to leave, I head out. I never trust the phone and I'm paranoid about missing the bus. Halfway there I realize I am missing my headphones. I can never go without headphones. So I race back, up three flights of stairs, leave my keys in the door and grab the missing headphones. Then I run all the way to the bus stop only to sit and wait 15 minutes because I am way too early! Once on the bus I get my transfer and find a safe seat. That said is there ever such a thing as a safe suit on public transportation? I pull the cord one stop too early according to my phone so I don't get off. I get off at the next stop only to realize that the first one was correct, stupid phone. I cross the street and wait for bus #2. While waiting I watch cars, trucks, scooters, bikes race by. The bikers and scooters don't wear helmets. Some carry bags bigger than the equipment they are on. I watch a girl wearing flip-flops and shorts walk slowly past me and wonder how she doesn't notice the wind?

Bus #2 arrives and I hope on. We pass a graveyard on a corner lot. It starts at a point and expands to a big triangle. The stones are eerily beautiful on this fall day. The bus stops at the West Point and changes from one number to a new number. I ride it out to the mall. My phone tells me to get off at one spot but I wonder if another spot is closer. I hop off yelling thanks over my shoulder and jog across the parking lot. Entering into Ulta I am overwhelmed by the massive wall of perfume. Choking down the rise of bile I work my way through each aisle. Halfway through the store I am finally greeted by an associate. But I am not asked if I need anything and I do need something. She races away to put away a box in another area of the store. I leave.

Jogging across the parking lot again I enter the mall and wander into a forever 21. A glance or two around tells me I can't justify buying there. And head to another store. Dry Good's pops out and I try on three pairs of pants and half a dozen shirts. Settling on a black pair of Jessica Simpson skinnys and two gray long sleeves. Color bothers me lately and I want neutrals. From there I find another store and grab pants for Kevin. Hopefully they will fit. By this time my stomach is angry and I'm in search of food. Nothing in the food court interests me and I debate even bothering but as I walk by Ben's Soft Pretzel I overhear a conversation about how amazing his pretzel is and I order some bits.


A photo posted by Angela Tolsma (@clutterboxblog) on

I walk into JC Penny only to hit another wall of Perfume. Yanking out my phone I look at bus routes and realize if I dash now I can catch one in 5 minutes or I have to wait another hour. Off I dash. Catching one bus, hoping another bus, jogging to another. This bus has two routes, it does one and then does the other. I got the first one but wanted the second so I finished the day with a 18 minute walk home. It's peaceful and beautiful and at the end of the day my couch is soft and warm.

I'm a lifestyle blogger, covering deep subjects including body images, battles with food, and overcoming how I was raised. I try to be as authentic as possible and I don’t sugar coat how I see things.