The person who brings you into the world, should be one of the most valuable people in your life. Supposedly. But what do you do when that's not the case. This is written to them, for them. When that person sees you in your wedding dress for the first time and instead of seeing your happiness and joy, compares you to another human being and how they were a size 2.
Who answers my call of desperation with a knitting story and completely ignores the fact that I am crying on the other end of the phone. Because their story is so much more relevant.
Or when told I have done something that no longer follows their 'chosen' path, sends someone else to give a lecture. A failed attempt at destroying some of my new-found happiness.
Throws a surprise party because I am drifting away. Forcing me to put on a face so she can gloat "Look what an amazing thing I'm doing for her, she can't be depressed... She can't hate herself. We're the perfect family."
After years, I am finally raising my voice. My voice is at first, drowned by the pity party. Then I'm told my memory is wrong which leads to being told by others that I'm spreading lies and tearing everyone apart. When for once I'm actually telling the truth.
We hid behind 'modest' clothes, long hair, and makeup free faces. But that was not who we were. You might have raised me, but you know nothing about me and history shows you don't care.
I am no longer there. I am no longer under your spell.
Sitting here miles away writing my truth. A truth you can do your best to deny. I date you to!
Try as you might, the truth is sitting right beside you in the two sitting at home. You know nothing.
I'm a lifestyle blogger, covering deep subjects including body images, battles with food, and overcoming how I was raised. I try to be as authentic as possible and I don’t sugar coat how I see things.