Did you know?
Do you know I can pin point the first time I allowed myself to feel pain? Do you know that sometimes this series I am writing, gets me down. Because I was raised to believe that these emotions are not real and should be hidden away.
Do you know that my gut instinct is to assume that every man, woman, and child is out to hurt me. And letting one into my heart is a challenge for me.
Did you know that before I met Kevin the most expensive thing I owned was a $35 CD player. It's not about the price of items, or about having expensive things. But it was learning about quality and workmanship and taking pride in the things I own. And gosh do I love my home.
Did you know that the price put on my heart was too high and that the person who did it to me had NO RIGHT.
Do you know that I was taught, that my body was a temple and it needed to be honored and respected for God's purpose. But it was the first thing I started to destroy before I could even understand my own thoughts?
Do you know the first time I was called a whore was by a man who was supposed to protect me from men like him. Who should have been there to support me and show me a good path to go on. Who instead threw a temper tantrum like a child. The second time I was called a whore was by a homeless man, upset I wouldn't give him money. First no one should be called that. Second if it's gonna be someone, I'll take the homeless man reaction any day of the week.
Do you know that I am not depressed. Yes I am lonely and yes I am missing my friends. I have good days and bad days. But I am healing and I am stronger everyday for this time I have to embrace myself. When I post things on my facebook like this
"Nobody likes it when the boundaries change. “They” didn’t like it when I started asking for mutual respect~ why would they?? I had always put up with mal treatment before. I wasn’t asking for the moon, I was just asking for mutual relationship. Everyone was accustomed to me jumping through ALL the hoops, everyone saw my mother and my in-laws push me around, saw me cater to my husband, saw me put myself last and without my realizing it I showed everyone what I would accept. It is understandable that it took a while for me to change the way that I had communicated all those years. But it has paid off. Darlene Ouimet ~Author ~Emerging from Broken the Beginning of Hope for Emotional Healing"
I share because I know people in my circle that need the encouragement to keep on the path to self growth too. Those words aren't shared because I'm depressed, they are shared because I am growing, evolving and I want the world to know that.