To Him

I talk to her a lot. I talk about her a lot.

But I very rarely bring him up.

We left June 2015.

She tried twice within the first month.

Him, he waited. Waited until my birthday, 6 months later. He called, said he didn't understand but that he won't bother me anymore. I don't remember all of it. I barely listened.

I felt broken. He hurt me and didn't get it. Even though it was right there. Thousands of words written. When he did read, the first words he spoke were to tell me my memory was wrong. He didn't want to hear that it was different from what he remembered. He was the asshole doing it, of course he remembers it differently. He didn't realize how it would hurt a 14-year-old girl.

I very rarely think about him. Mostly because he was only ever in and out at random moments. I don't remember him at my graduation, though I remember him a few days later, in the form of his bare hand. He shows up, throws his word around as if he's a god and then is gone, until he is needed to punish someone.

He thinks he's important but how can someone be important if they never show up?

I write about her, because most of my memories are surrounded by her and her lack of confidence. But he, he is just a bully. A grown child. All those memes that I hate, the ones about how men are children are there because of men like him. Men who weren't taught how to healthy handle their emotions. Told to "man up". Now as adults, he acts like a child throwing tempter tantrums when things don't go his way.


He is the embodiment of men I hate. And honestly if it wasn't for good men, like Kevin, Kevin's Dad, Mike, Drew, Ryan and a few choice others I would seriously hate all men and think they are all like him. A freaking asshole. And sometimes I still struggle not to immediately judge a man this way.

Why don't I want him in my life? Emotional Stability is part of who I am, and he is far from stable.

To Him

I'm a lifestyle blogger, covering deep subjects including body images, battles with food, and overcoming how I was raised. I try to be as authentic as possible and I don’t sugar coat how I see things.