Here you are, you've arrived in full swing. You took me by surprise. You mean something different where I grew up. In Calgary, Alberta, you bring one day of beautiful leafs and the next a foot of snow. Here, you bring a month if not more; gorgeous colors, booties, and cozy sweaters. It's perfect and heavenly. I am loving every second of you. I sit at my desk, most days, watching you from my window working away. When I get lonely I chat with my friends and family online. Most of my family and friends are back home, which means they got that one beautiful day and are now in the midst of snow and crazy weather. So I sit here daily and am reminded of how blessed I am. I tend to cringe at the word "blessed," it has some very bad memories attached to it. But it is the only word I can use to describe my life besides privileged. And dear fall, I'd like to talk to you about my privilege and blessings, because they have been full and amazing these past two years.
I am blessed to experience you, dear fall at your fullest
I have the privilege to not work
I have been blessed with amazing in-laws
I have the privilege of great health benefits and coverage
I have been blessed with amazing friends
I have the privilege to pay my bills without worry every month
I have been blessed with technology and books
I have the privilege of being in a good relationship, where our goals align
I have been blessed with the ability to remove negative people from my life
I have the privilege of being in control of my body
I have been blessed with subscription boxes and surprise presents
I have the privilege of choosing what kinds of foods I consume and purchase for my household
I have been blessed with purple hair and pretty nails
I have the privilege of having a savings account
I have been blessed with a safe space to share my words and pictures
I sit here, knowing full well that many of my friends, family, and people I do not know do not have the things I mentioned above. They are working multiple jobs. Are stressing about this bill or the next bill. They don't have the support of an amazing partner or family. And while they are strong, they are doing it all on their own, whether that's physically or mentally. As I sit in my corner apartment, with my own little office and have just been gifted something more, I wonder, WHY ME? What did I do to deserve more? I am grateful and so thankful. But I can think of thirty others without even trying who need it more. So why was I chosen?
And fall, I am so thankful to those who do things for me and give me more than I deserve. And do so with no strings attached. Thankful to those who are there for me whether they are doing good in life or are down in life. I appreciate them and their gifts so much.
It is my hope
that I can understand my privilege and blessings and find ways to give back to others. Those that have continually given to me, when I have so much and do not deserve it, teach me so much about caring, understanding and trust. Lessons I was not taught growing up. And maybe that's why they are in my life today. The world needs more lessons in kindness and I am happy to learn.