I've put it off and put it off.
But the packages needed to be mailed and now I have one to pick up too.
I don't really know why I was avoiding it but I was.
The first time I went, they were closed for the holiday, Martin Luther King Day. Which isn't a holiday we have in Canada, so I wasn't aware it was a thing. There were no signs on the door explaining that they were closed and the place just felt dirty. I walked away frustrated. Frustrated with the postal service lack of professionalism. Frustrated with the fact that I find everything dirty.
Frustrated with my fast beating heart
The second time, I made it in the door. To discover a line up. After waiting 5 minutes, I discovered I needed a customs form and was given one. With my heart racing and my body getting hot, I got out of there. I raced for my car, where I sat for a good twenty minutes trying to figure out whether or not I was dying. It felt like I was dying. My lungs were closed, I was boiling hot.
I am never hot!
The car was turned off and it was 4 Degrees Fahrenheit out, I should have been freezing! My head was exploding and to properly explain it all I'll just send you to this video. I had previously read a post about someone describing a panic attack and how they were so sure they were having a heart attack they went to the hospital. But I couldn't be having a heart attack, I'm 29 years old! I just got a clean bill of health from the doctor and I feel like I'm suffocating too. Is suffocating part of a heart attack or is this just what I think it is? And if it is, why in public, it's never happened in public before.
I did manage to go back in a half hour later. I got the teller I didn't want, the loud boisterous one, where everyone in the building gets to hear every damn word out of his mouth. And as expected, he talked non-stop throughout my entire interaction with him. Explaining how the postal system sucks because businesses aren't getting charged enough. So I was getting charged more than I should, because I was being honest and businesses couldn't be bothered.
On and on and on and on and on.
Slowly, during my twenty minutes with him, my heart calmed down, my body temperature dropped, and I evened out. Maybe I looked like a lost bird and that's why he talked so much. Truthfully though, I think he just is that type of person. I was just so happy to get out of there and go home, my packages mailed and picked up.
The question is what caused the trigger?
I'm a lifestyle blogger, covering deep subjects including body images, battles with food, and overcoming how I was raised. I try to be as authentic as possible and I don’t sugar coat how I see things.