Dear Beautiful You
You've left now. You left before I could say so many things to you. We didn't have enough time to build a relationship to a point where I feel like I could have certain deep level conversations with you. Not only that, it wasn't always possible to have those privately. It's not that I want those conversations to be private, it's that I don't want other's opinions interjected until we've both had our say. We will always be influenced by the people surrounding us, that's fine. But first I want us to be allowed our own thoughts. I want you to know how loved you are. How loved you and your siblings are. Even though I don't feel like I know any of you very well anymore. You all hold a special place in my heart and I will always be here for you, whatever you need. I wish I could do more. My home, wherever that maybe, will always be open to you. Even in my worst moments, I'll do my best to be there for you. I'm sorry that I can't have a relationship with the people who would normally connect us. But this, a sisterhood, can work without them, if you want.
I want you to know that you are worth so much. You are worthy of love and respect. You deserve to be treated with love and respect. You do not need to find your self-worth in others, you can find it in yourself. It is not an easy process and it hurts, but I hope that you know you are worthy of it. Know that I'll never make fun of you. Of you, your dreams, your thoughts, your words, your value. If I say something that bothers you, point it out so I can learn and give me the ability to do the same. But know that you are a treasured person. Your opinion matters and when I ask, I truly want to know. If there's something on your face, its dirt that'll come off, not me pointing out a flaw. Your face is beautiful and I would never do that to you.
Please know that I want happiness for you. I want you to find a happiness that works for you, but know you do not have to go about it the way I have. Choose your path, your happiness and not the path others want of you. No matter what, I will always do my best to support you.
Until next time,