Communication between the sexes
Last Friday I had 4 lovely ladies share important thoughts on their relationship. Today I bring to you the rest of Jazmine's. I met Jazmine through the blogging world and while we have never met in person, she is a lovely lady, that I am happy to call a friend. I hope you enjoy her take on communication between the sexes. You can find Jazmine on Instagram and Twitter
Hey, Lovelies! I'm Jazmine I used to blog over at Fairy Lights & Dreams. I took a little break from blogging so it feels weird being back talking to an audience. The sweet guy with me in the photo is my fiance Noe. Noe and I met on MyYearbook, a website for meeting new people, in 8th grade and have been best friends ever since. Our friendship has definitely gone through the wringer. Along the way, both of fell for each other and we've been dating for a year now. Dating my best friend has been one of the best choices I've ever made. This past summer he proposed to me and I'll be a Mrs. in 4 months.
I believe an important aspect of any relationship is communication. However, from personal experience and psych classes, I've discovered that males and females are literally from another planet. Noe and I have pretty good communication skills but we're not perfect, sometimes we yell or get frustrated because neither of us can get our points across. Some of these miscommunications come from the fact that we communicate in different ways. I thought I'd share with you some of the things I've learned that could possibly help communication skills in your relationship.
So first I want to address some different communication styles between males and females. Also, understand that this information doesn't apply to everyone, it's more general information.
-When males talk to each other they tend to use little to no eye contact also they'll be doing other things while someone is speaking. Whereas women give each other undivided attention and eye contact constantly
There are countless times when I'm talking to Noe and he's staring at the TV. I tend to get angry and accuse him of not listening however that's not always the case. He is listening he just finds it uncomfortable giving me eye contact. When you look into the male world and see their interactions you see why he'd find it so uncomfortable.
-When men speak they take few pauses and tend to interrupt frequently to get points across. Women are quite opposite when we speak we take frequent pauses leaving time for people to make their comments before we continue.
This was my "OMG!" moment because Noe constantly interrupts me and I find it offensive but for males, it's not because it's a part of behavior.
You can find more differences between male and female listening and speaking patterns but I thought these two were worth mention because they're most common.
So how do we take this information and improve our communication skills?
1. You need to practice self-disclosure and share beliefs, feelings, and ideas.
2. Creating a positive atmosphere between you and your partner that motivates you to develop understanding.
3. An ability to explain your views, feelings, and ideas clearly and accurately.
4. Reciprocity aka Treat someone the way you want to be treated. If your partner is willing to disclose feelings with you then they expect the same in return.
A key thing in communication is always using "I" statements when describing personal thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Essentially advantages of using "I" statements are non-threatening and promotes openness. Another great communication skill is talking to your partner about how you communicate. Sit down and discuss whether it's effective and does it work. It's always good to check in because people change and might communicate differently.
I hope these little tidbits help. Thanks for having me. XOXO