Goodbye 2018

Dear 2018, You were a good year. A busy year. A year were I set no specific goals, just an idea, an intention and then let it all happen. And boy, did things happen. Let’s break this down.

My first vague goal was to Cultivate My Voice. Which included writing and building and I broke it down into three different ideas; participation, tagging, projects.

Participation was just my desire to be more active in the world. In general I always equate this back to blogging but what I really meant was to stop hiding in my house and get out there. It’s not an easy thing to measure, however I am counting this as a successfully accomplished goal. I challenged myself in ways I did not except and did well. I began aerial yoga in February and that led me to aerial silks, aerial sling, and lyra. All of which brought me around some amazing, talented women, while pushing me far out of my comfort zone. Then there’s my local yoga studio, I decided to start talking to people I saw regularly everyday. This has also been successful and now I have people I met with regularly at the stdio and in the real world. It is amazing how just by consistently smiling and saying hello can build into more. I am far from perfect from this though and I definitely need to continue to work on it. Sometimes I live far too much in my head, however the things I am doing have brought me a lot of happiness and for that I am thankful!

Tagging was my desire to connect more with people and communities I am part of online. I am calling this a half accomplished goal. In one community I am active and participate very regularly. But I am definitely still struggled with other aspects of this. It’s a work in progress and I think I’ve plans helping this along in the new year.

Projects was about consistency in what I create. All of which was successful. In regards to blogging, I stuck to my Monday, Wednesday, Friday posting for the entire year. Fridays were a specific project, the 365 Photo A Day. Having that Friday always the same thing and yet different has been great for my creativity. While the pictures weren’t always the most amazing, it was just nice not having to plan what to post. Wednesdays was originally suppose to be my self portrait day, but I switched it to Mondays at some point. Ironically I felt like I was failing this aspect until I reviewed all the portraits for this post. I think I feel like I didn’t put as much effort into the portraits as I would have liked, however they are all there. The feeling of failure has given me an idea for the future and so I am curious as to what 2019 will feel like for my portraits. Wednesday has been hard for consistency but plans are in the works to help this.

When it comes to the vague goal to Cultivate My Voice, I think I did pretty awesome.

The second vague goal was to Grow in Body Positivity. I think that Jes Baker has put it best “you don’t have to love your body in order to live your best life.” With the help of the amazing community of body happy people I follow, I’ve just come to realize that having a flat stomach isn’t going to make me happy if I can’t enjoy the moment. I work out a lot, I don’t eat the best but I feel good. I am annoyed with some aspects of myself but this past year I have been happy and alive. Those feelings are what I want to cultivate more of and this place with my body is a good place to be.

Then there’s the vague goal of education. Read and chat with others to become a better person.

This I knocked out of the park. This goal did go a completely different direction than I expected. I was originally thinking education in yoga or some type of school classes. Instead I focused mainly on racism, understanding and overcoming my own prejudices, and the lack of equality. Discovering Ijeoma Oluo, Layla Saad, Rachel Cargle, Roxane Gay and so many others. Following their work and actually doing the work they prompt has been eye opening. I have so much to learn and do, it’ll be a topic you’ll see frequently on here. For 2018, I wrote a fair bit about how and what I was doing; You & White Supremacy Challenge, Independence and Privilege, #16 on here, and Day 172. I still did a lot of yoga educational stuff, mostly through book learning. Then there’s what I expected for school classes. Originally some university or college stuff, but here I am a year later and I still don’t know what or if I want to do any secondary education. Or what I would even take if I did. So the classes I have been taking have all been aerial related and it has been amazing.

Lastly at the beginning of 2018 I shared a post written by Karina Woodburn. The post was on 10 vows she was making to her self and I decided to keep put those vows at the top of my goals for the year. Those vows are

1. I vow to know my worth.
2. I vow to always communicate.
3. I vow to never settle for anything less than what I truly want.
4. I vow to always listen to my gut instinct.
5. I vow to always treat people how I want to be treated.
6. I vow to never take anything for granted.
7. I vow to always put my happiness first.
8. I vow to love myself.
9. I vow to challenge myself.
10. I vow to live in the moment.

And as I said at the beginning of this post, this was the year were I set no specific goals, just an idea, an intention and then let it all happen. With those vows in the back of my mind, I lived how I wanted and it was good. Was it perfect? No, but it was full, happy, challenging, and I am glad to have experienced all that I did. When I think outside of my own little bubble, it wasn’t a great year either. However I think that it felt like that because people are becoming aware and with awareness comes change and I am so looking forward to what 2019 will bring.

This post is based on one I wrote at the beginning of 2018, read it here. The images for today’s post were inspired by the book in that post. New take - the back of the book says “the story of a princess turned damsel turned queen” seemed fitting.