What have you let go of this month?
Oh this question feels so loaded. My immediate thought is that I haven’t given up anything. Except that, that’s not true. This month I stepped away from my 365 Project and photography. In the few weeks that have passed since making the decision to step away have been awesome. But they also haven’t been awesome. The project that I put those aside for has hit a wall and it’s a frustrating wall. It’s a wall of lack of education. It means that I can’t just dive in and do the thing immediately with only edits. It means I’m gonna have to work hard. I do and have worked hard at many things in my life, this is just different and I am struggling. Which leads us into the next question.
What have you embraced this month?
I have embraced the struggle. I mean it’s a struggle, so embracing it, isn’t exactly an easy thing. But this is something I want and not only that it’s something I’ve been wanting for years but have never thought myself capable. Heck, I probably am not capable. I’m just never going to know if I don’t try. So I’ve embraced that this is going to be a huge learning curve and that I’m going to struggle through. It is gonna suck but I think hitting my end goal will make it worth it.
I’ve also come back to my mat. I’ve been staying away because I’ve found it hard to find peace with the whiteness of the yoga community and the appropriation found throughout. I don’t want to be a part of that. So far I haven’t found a great balance and to be honest I don’t know if I will ever go back to posting photos of my practice full time. The photos that are part of this post are from when I was rolling out my limbs with a ball, a cork, and my foam roller, while reading a book. The book is actually discussing this exact thing and wow is it deep.
(People in the yoga community that have been inspiring me lately include; Susanna Barkataki, Luvena Rangel, Dianne Bondy, Michelle Cassandra Johnson, and Maris Degener.)
What surprised you this month?
I am surprised every time a nail breaks or that I get another bruise (you can see a row of bruises on my thigh in these pictures, that’s from rolling on the lyra). But most of all, I am surprised how much hurt I’ve been holding in certain areas of my life and how that has been affecting my creativity. The Artists Way-morning pages-have been a great help in discovering this hurt and working through it. Sometimes it’s the littlest things that hold us back the most and sometimes it’s just our heads. I am working on ensuring my head can get over itself and the little things are seen through. Within this though is something Michelle Cassandra Johnson said in her book
and that has me wondering about my intentions a lot more. Personal responsibility is important and it’s surprising to me how I’ve expected others to take responsibility for their actions but haven’t really thought all that hard about my own.
How would you answer these questions this month? Did anything surprise you?
I'm a lifestyle blogger, covering deep subjects including body images, battles with food, and overcoming how I was raised. I try to be as authentic as possible and I don’t sugar coat how I see things.