Sometimes in my desire to sleep, I forget that I am no longer tied to a schedule and have no reason to force myself to sleep. While this has been true for going on two years, it's a hard habit to break. We are raised to go to bed at 10 and get up at 7. Eat lunch at noon, etc. If I could get away with it I would be up 5 to 6 hours later than everyone else and run on a more night time schedule. The world however doesn't function that way and so I am stuck with sleepless nights and feeling guilty for it.
The thing about not sleeping is that usually my brain is so busy that it's a great time to write, or cry, or explore some new thoughts that aren't ready for paper yet. The darkness brings a storm of thoughts that need filtering and daytime isn't always cohesive to that. Taking the night when insomnia hits, shouldn't bring about bouts of guilt but bouts of creativity. Put some headphones in and pull out all the stops to capture that thing, floating in there that just won't go away. Sometimes the idea flows beautifully and you can capture exactly what you are thinking and other nights, you get photos like this.
Photos that no matter what I did, won't focus to perfect sharpness. Or that there was never enough "smoke" and even though each water droplet was perfect I could not capture it.
Having the idea for a project focusing on shooting body parts feels like a challenge and one that might be needed. Growing as a photographer isn't easy but when you can't sleep anyways, discovering where you can push those boundaries is always a good idea. Using the cover of darkness to shoot flashes of skin could be a fun boundary to push.
So these didn't turn out perfect, you can see my diffuser in each photo. My hands aren't elegant, but it's a start. Now to choose the next part to shoot. And maybe, just maybe I'll fall asleep.
I'm a lifestyle blogger, covering deep subjects including body images, battles with food, and overcoming how I was raised. I try to be as authentic as possible and I don’t sugar coat how I see things.