Reflections, Part 3

As the end of December came roaring to a close I started looking for new ways of reflecting. Through my searching I discovered Susannah Conway and her "Let's make magic in 2018". Inside there was lots of unique ideas and information. But the thing that has stuck with me is the reflection questions she asked for each month. I enjoyed the questions and I wanted to record my thoughts on them.

Part 1 - January, February, March.
Part 2 - April, May, June.

Now for Part 3!

July

What have you let go of this month?

I have let go the fog that has surrounded me and taken a deep look at white supremacy and my role in it. It is not been an easy journey. Opening your eyes to your own racism is hard.

What have you embraced this month?

My fragility. This won't really make sense unless you've read through my You & White Supremacy posts. But wow am I fragile when my thoughts and beliefs are challenged.

Describe July in three words?

Educational, Emotionally Exhausting, and Frustrating. Though that's technically four. Opps.

I am grateful for...

Amazing people like Layla Saad for being willing to show me how to do the work and grow as a white person.

This month I learned...

That I have a lot of internalized racism and thoughts that need to be addressed. I need to step up.

August

What nourished your body this month?

Aerial Yoga. Though I didn't practice it as much as I would have liked due to migraines I still managed to go 6 times. I also ate a lot of donuts, while not the best food, it's not something I'll regret ever.

What nourished your mind?

Books! Specifically The Inner Tradition of Yoga by Michael Stone and the Emelan Series by Tamora Pierce

What nourished your heart?

Again books, Breath: the essence of yoga by Sandra Sabatini. Though kayaking on the lake with Kevin is high up there too.

I am grateful for...

The company Kevin works for and all that they have done and continue to do for us.

This month I learned

That I am better at handling emotions, but still not where I want to be. I am a work in progress.

Taking three pictures on three separate days and matching the lightening was a fun challenge. I wasn’t fully successful but it was fun planning with the idea.

September

When did you feel brave this month?

When I started taking new classes, aerial silks and lyra. Both are so much fun and it felt brave to be in a new environment, with new people, learning something new and challenging.

When did you feel scared?

When I thought I had to see a male doctor. There was a lot of fear. I know technically I've seen male doctors before but this was different because of what was needed. My relief was great when I found at the doctor was a she. Not only that but she was kind and wonderful too.

What have you learned about yourself this month?

That I can feel strong until I see Kevin and then I fall completely apart. Not cool.

I am grateful for...

The paycheck we get every month, the willingness of the doctor team I saw (immigration), and for Kevin gassing up my car every bloody week.

This month I learned...

That I am stronger than I use to be but not as strong as I thought. Also that bruises on the backs of ones knees can be quiet painful (thanks lyra!).

Do you have any reflections for the year so far?