Reflections, Part 4

Early in 2018 I found Susannah Conway and her "Let's make magic in 2018". Deciding it was something I wanted to do, I shared the reflection portion three times last year and this is the final piece. She’s also released her 2019 version Unravel Your Year 2019 and I’ll be doing that in the coming months. If you are a long time reader I hope that you enjoyed the posts I wrote in 2018 and I hope like me you are looking forward to doing exciting things this 2019! For now though, let’s reflect a little.

October

What's inspired you this month?

My lyra teacher. She is constantly on the go, go, go. She walks the walk and loves what she does.

What's drained you this month?

People. Each month it seems like I am hanging around more and more people and it's exhausting and yet I love every second of it.

When did you feel the most like yourself this month?

When I was taking video during a sling class. I did video for myself and others. It felt right.

I am grateful for...

The opportunity that's come up regarding my online spaces and even if it plummets, it's still pretty awesome.

This month I learned...

That I know what lines I am willing to cross online and what lines I am not.

November

Which was your favorite day this month?

Kevin and the grand canyon. You can read about our adventure to the Grand Canyon in Viva Las Vegas, Part 2.

Which was your least favorite day this month?

Coming home, see it on Day 318.

What did these days teach you?

I like adventure and hate travel.

I am grateful for...

Cat and her coming out to see us. You can read about catching up with Cat in Viva Las Vegas, Part 1.

This month I learned...

That taking my time with photos will equal better photos. (Side Note: On the other hand spontaneous photos are just a lot of fun. Take the ones I’m included in this post. All are not from October or November, but December when I was doing a Instagram Christmas Challenge. These are the outtakes that didn’t make it for the challenge but that I still really enjoyed.)

December

Have you looked after your self this month?

Yes and no. I have taken as many steps as I can to protect myself and keep my boundaries. But I know that it will be hard once people come into my bubble. However I have plans and others placed to help me out, should someone try to break a boundary I have set. A huge part of me is curious of my own strength and if I will be able to do it and a huge part of me knows that failure will happen and has booked an appointment with a therapist for January to help myself better work through that. If failure doesn’t happen than I can cancel, but it’s a safety net and that’s what I am working towards.

What do you need more of in 2019?

Circus is the first thing that comes to mind. But I think I need more things that push me out of the house more and consistently. And maybe less draining on the finances…

What do you need less of in 2019?

Fear. Fear I think has been holding me back. Fear of change. Fear of the next step. Fear of making the wrong move and so instead I am sitting and doing nothing. It is not healthy to sit on the sidelines and while I have been challenging myself to take my camera out with me and been doing some pretty awesome things, when it comes to the really big things I have been allowing fear to hold me back.

I am grateful for…

My friends and family who understand the boundaries I have set and not only work within them but also support me in holding them up. I don’t know where I would be without them.

This month I learned…

That it is good to get out there and that it is okay for me to do things on my own. Things won’t break if I take an hour to do something. Logically this has always been something I’ve known but emotionally it’s hard to be okay with changing things from what they are to something a little different, even if it might be fantastic.

To End - These reflections tend to be a little cryptic but it is what it is.

And just because I really enjoying this series of photos. I thought I would share the actual ones I have posted on Instagram. They are all linked. But this challenge was so much fun and playing with lights was just a blast.

Happy Monday! and be sure to leave a comment telling me how your 2018 was and what you’ve got planned for this year!